I’m not going to lie. I was scared to death. I had no idea what would happen. Would everything fall through or miraculously fall into place? Would I stay in this place and never find out what would happen? I wouldn’t have to risk anything except my own sense of adventure that I would stifle if I never step beyond my known reality. Would I believe an ancient book or would I believe all the doubting hearts that surround me with endless debates? What have I to lose anyway? Matthew 10:39 says, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”
This year I am intentionally embarking deeper into the heart of God to find that life that I was finally able to lose in trade for something greater. Many people I know have never fully heard my testimony, and for good reason; I couldn’t even realize that I had one for such a long time. It’s a beautiful story that is still being written and even I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens in the months and years that are to come. In writing today’s blog I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to share because I’m not one to waste words on mindless babbling but I believe that each and every word carries power through both the spoken and written word. As I began to write I am inspired to share some of the tale of my life because I am a modern day miracle. I was placed on this Earth to capture and display a side of God that only I can convey, just like your life conveys a unique side of God that can only be shared through your life alone. I see God differently than you do. You see God differently than I do. We are unique in our design and makeup therefore we see different attributes and characteristics of the same awesome God!
I am no ‘prodigal son’ returning home from a far away place where I ran from God and squandered everything I had to later return to the loving arms of a grateful and forgiving Father. I was not found by the side of a well ashamed and over-ridden by guilt over my lascivious lifestyle. I neither suffered cancer or any major health issue where I was miraculously healed by God. I was a young girl whose parents just discovered God for themselves and they told me there is a God who loves you and He is here whenever you’re scared or need help...and I believed them and never stopped believing.
I used to be scared a lot when I was a little girl and my parents got me in the habit of praying every night before I went to bed. So my prayers sounded a little like this, “Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for today. Bless all my family, bless my mom and my dad and my sister and my two brothers and bless me too! And I ask that you would fill this whole house with millions and millions of angels to protect us. Fill each room with millions and millions and millions of angels, especially my room! I love you and please give me sweet dreams. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.” I would always continue naming a higher number of angels because I was afraid and wanted to be protected really well. It’s funny my nightly prayers still sound a little like they did when I was a girl. Knowing God was simple and honest and pure. It wasn’t complicated like many of the adults I knew who were up and down and all around with their walk with Christ. I may not have been super deep or theological in my relationship with Jesus, but I did know Him and I knew that He knew me.
My prayers became more personal as I grew older, I would often greet God with, “Hey, it’s me again” or “Hi Dad, did you miss me?” or even, “What’s up? How was your day?” I talked to Him like He was right there as if He would actually respond back to my silly question of how was your day? I was playful and honest with God just like a child is naturally. If you can remember what you were like as a kid, that is the innocence and purity of heart God desires in His relationship with you. It doesn’t have to be fancy-schmancy or elaborate. It’s just like your friendship with your best friend...it’s simple, loads of fun and forgiving. Getting to know God is not hard. If a five year old can begin to understand and know the heart of God surely you can, whoever you are or whatever age you’re at can fathom a God that loves you. To begin walking with God is as easy as waking up in the morning...okay maybe that’s not that easy for some haha but you get the idea. It’s like meeting a new person when you’re out at coffee. You exchange phone numbers and a few days later one of you calls the other and decides to hang out and wah-lah a relationship begins. It’s surface level at the beginning but it progresses as you get to know each other more. It grows in depth as you talk more and more and discover more about each other as you spend more time with each other. Before you know it you really love and care for this person who was just a stranger you ran into at a coffee shop one day.
I was lucky enough to be introduced to Jesus at a very young age where it made sense to me. Of course it’s been a long road and I’ve questioned many things, nothing changes the fact that I choose to enter into a relationship with God one day at a time. I invite you to get to know God on a deeper level today. To pray is simply talk one to another. Remember when you were a kid and life was simple and love was simple. Did you once have what you thought was a flourishing relationship with God but now you’re cold and indifferent or maybe doubtful of His promises? God never changed, you did...“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8
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