I AM a modern day miracle

I’m not going to lie.  I was scared to death.  I had no idea what would happen.  Would everything fall through or miraculously fall into place?  Would I stay in this place and never find out what would happen?  I wouldn’t have to risk anything except my own sense of adventure that I would stifle if I never step beyond my known reality.  Would I believe an ancient book or would I believe all the doubting hearts that surround me with endless debates?  What have I to lose anyway?  Matthew 10:39 says, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”  

This year I am intentionally embarking deeper into the heart of God to find that life that I was finally able to lose in trade for something greater.  Many people I know have never fully heard my testimony, and for good reason; I couldn’t even realize that I had one for such a long time.  It’s a beautiful story that is still being written and even I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens in the months and years that are to come.   In writing today’s blog I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to share because I’m not one to waste words on mindless babbling but I believe that each and every word carries power through both the spoken and written word.  As I began to write I am inspired to share some of the tale of my life because I am a modern day miracle.  I was placed on this Earth to capture and display a side of God that only I can convey, just like your life conveys a unique side of God that can only be shared through your life alone.  I see God differently than you do.  You see God differently than I do.  We are unique in our design and makeup therefore we see different attributes and characteristics of the same awesome God!  

I am no ‘prodigal son’ returning home from a far away place where I ran from God and squandered everything I had to later return to the loving arms of a grateful and forgiving Father.  I was not found by the side of a well ashamed and over-ridden by guilt over my lascivious lifestyle.  I neither suffered cancer or any major health issue where I was miraculously healed by God.  I was a young girl whose parents just discovered God for themselves and they told me there is a God who loves you and He is here whenever you’re scared or need help...and I believed them and never stopped believing.  

I used to be scared a lot when I was a little girl and my parents got me in the habit of praying every night before I went to bed.  So my prayers sounded a little like this, “Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for today.  Bless all my family, bless my mom and my dad and my sister and my two brothers and bless me too!  And I ask that you would fill this whole house with millions and millions of angels to protect us. Fill each room with millions and millions and millions of angels, especially my room!  I love you and please give me sweet dreams.  In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.”  I would always continue naming a higher number of angels because I was afraid and wanted to be protected really well.  It’s funny my nightly prayers still sound a little like they did when I was a girl.  Knowing God was simple and honest and pure.  It wasn’t complicated like many of the adults I knew who were up and down and all around with their walk with Christ.  I may not have been super deep or theological in my relationship with Jesus, but I did know Him and I knew that He knew me.  

My prayers became more personal as I grew older, I would often greet God with, “Hey, it’s me again” or “Hi Dad, did you miss me?” or even, “What’s up?  How was your day?”  I talked to Him like He was right there as if He would actually respond back to my silly question of how was your day?  I was playful and honest with God just like a child is naturally.  If you can remember what you were like as a kid, that is the innocence and purity of heart God desires in His relationship with you.  It doesn’t have to be fancy-schmancy or elaborate.  It’s just like your friendship with your best friend...it’s simple, loads of fun and forgiving.  Getting to know God is not hard.  If a five year old can begin to understand and know the heart of God surely you can, whoever you are or whatever age you’re at can fathom a God that loves you. To begin walking with God is as easy as waking up  in the morning...okay maybe that’s not that easy for some haha but you get the idea.  It’s like meeting a new person when you’re out at coffee.  You exchange phone numbers and a few days later one of you calls the other and decides to hang out and wah-lah a relationship begins.  It’s surface level at the beginning but it progresses as you get to know each other more.  It grows in depth as you talk more and more and discover more about each other as you spend more time with each other.  Before you know it you really love and care for this person who was just a stranger you ran into at a coffee shop one day.  

I was lucky enough to be introduced to Jesus at a very young age where it made sense to me.  Of course it’s been a long road and I’ve questioned many things, nothing changes the fact that I choose to enter into a relationship with God one day at a time.  I invite you to get to know God on a deeper level today.  To pray is simply talk one to another.  Remember when you were a kid and life was simple and love was simple.  Did you once have what you thought was a flourishing relationship with God but now you’re cold and indifferent or maybe doubtful of His promises?  God never changed, you did...“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

I AM seeing myself in a whole new light

January 28, 2011 Journal Entry:  Written in Flight to the Mainland 

          Eight months ago I flew across America and over the Pacific until I landed on a rock smack dab in the middle of the ocean which is apparently the most isolated chain of islands in the world, where I met a family I had never seen face to face in my life.  I have lived and worked for them for the past eight months and they turned out to be really nice, inviting and sweet people.  There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has given me great favor wherever I go and directed my every step.  A lot has changed, I feel like I’ve grown up a lot more and seen/done so many new things.  I don’t worry like I used to.  I was in a constant state of anxiety for such a long period of time especially when I first moved.  I was always wondering am I doing the right thing?  What’s right, what’s wrong?  I can say that I am at peace now :)  I rely more on the Holy Spirit for wisdom, comfort and direction.  I believe I am much wiser than in previous years.  I’ve learned how to be more honest with myself, and identify what I like and what I don’t like about me.  The more honest you are with yourself, the more honest you can be with others.  Likewise, the more you trust God for your own personal needs the easier it is to help others find that trust for God within themselves. 

           Living by example is truly the only way to live.  I will teach no one anything if I haven’t first done it myself.  I don’t want to preach a message that I don’t live out and exemplify in my own life.  I don’t want to live in hypocrisy by saying one thing and doing another.  What we say and what we do must coincide with each other; that creates balance and a healthy flow of the Spirit.  When we are true to ourselves I believe it is easier to convey a real life impacting message to those around us.  Nobody wants to learn from someone who isn’t who they say they are.  I want to be like glass.  I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there.  I am seeing more and more why God needs ample time to prepare each one of us for our callings.  He has to carefully develop us, intricately teach us, and intimately get to know us... or rather we need to respond to His intimate invitation to get to know Him further.  Everyday is a journey and every moment we are absorbing something from our surroundings.  We are benefiting from what’s going on or we are conforming in the wrong ways to our influences and surroundings.  Always be objective!  Weigh the consequences.  Realize the negative and positive of every action.  Reevaluate your own actions and choices.  Constantly remain in an attitude of learning and total surrender.  

           The older I get the more humble I naturally become.  I did not create the physical world around me.  I didn't place the minds of all my friends and family inside their heads.  I do not direct the hearts of kings...but God does.  I am humbled because I am one, just one of His many beautiful creations, but I realize there are many of us and we were never created for selfishness.  I am seeing myself in a new light and it’s changing everything.  Take the time to look at your own situation.  The way you live often reflects your feelings about yourself.  Whether you realize it or not you are probably settling for less than what God has for you in some area of your life.  How do you let others treat you?  Do people run over you all the time, or do you stand up for yourself when you’re abused or mistreated?  The way you handle these kind of situations speaks of how much you think you’re worth.  Value the person that God created you to be.  Be real and honest with yourself and question your motives and actions.  Am I letting the world take advantage of me?  Am I settling for less than what God specifically designed me to be?  Am I seeing myself in the wrong light?  

              Ask the Queen of England what she thinks her value is?  Guaranteed she believes she should receive royal treatment and nothing less.  We would consider that to be suiting treatment for a  woman of her stature.  Now ask a homeless man what he thinks his value is.  He might stand in the shadows with his head hung low, thinking “I just need one meal to get me through till tomorrow.  I don’t deserve anything after the kind of lifestyle I’ve lived.”  Is that the kind of treatment he really deserves?   Are you okay letting him think that way?  

             Proverbs says the rich man and the poor man have one thing in common and that is that both have the same Maker.  If both are designed by the Master, the Lord  the King of the Universe then both are entitled to royalty.  Both are princes and princesses.  Both are sons and daughters of Father God.  Both have inherited the same inheritance as Jesus.  The difference is they don’t see themselves in the same light.  As a man thinks in his heart so is he.  What do you believe you are entitled to?  What have you let pass you by because you didn’t think you were worthy enough?  What the Bible promises belongs to every man and woman on the face of the Earth.  The rich man, the poor man, the person whose fallen and the man who is perfect in his own eyes.  It’s time to be honest with ourselves and see ourselves in a whole new light, because guarantee once you do, it will rock your world!

            When you see yourself in a new light everything changes. Everything that is in relation to you notices the change, and you are one step closer to seeing yourself the way God sees you... as shining, immaculate, beautiful, and the love of His life.  Imagine if you came to the full realization of what God thinks about you?  You’d never settle for less ever again!  What you tolerate in you life you invite to stay.  Shine the light of God’s Word on your life and let it reveal the good and the bad and drive you to become a light and an example that shines for Him.  Let Him reveal who you really are because honestly He's the only one who truly knows who you are.  I’m seeing myself in a whole new light and it’s shattering all the wrong things I used to think about myself.  It’s revealing me as the person that God made me to be.  

           It’s not snobby to think you deserve the best, and you’re not being humble by thinking you deserve nothing but the worst.  You are a divine and eternal being crafted by God!  Tell yourself ‘I am crafted by the hands of God’ until you actually believe it, and then ask yourself this:  As a creation of the Most High God, what do I really think I deserve?  The possibilities are endless...  It’s not by chance that great people emerge or great things happen but it comes to be by an everyday choice after choice after choice.  View yourself and every situation in the light of what God sees and your whole perspective will change.  Get ready to open your eyes to a whole new world.  Capture yourself in the best light, as if taking a mental snapshot of who God made you to be, and then remember that image and never forget how good you look in God’s light.  “Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. (Psalms 4:6).”