I AM hungry

                         I woke up not just this morning but the past weeks knowing this is not the fulness of life that was designed for me.  I found out recently that my brain is not even fully developed for deductive and rational reasoning until the age of 24...I have about one month to go haha.  In the years from my late teens to early twenties I have learned that I am not invincible, yet my spirit is unbreakable and can not be defeated.  I saw the fragility of my own body, the weakness of my soul, and the pull of my emotions.  Yet I saw something greater, the strength and the life of God that is in me.  Few will ever realize that an eternal being lives inside this flesh and bones that crumble and bleed, that break and age to the mirror's eye.  To the eyes that have been opened, even with just one glimpse of an eternal reality there will always be a struggle between the realm of " I am limited by my surroundings", and " I can do anything, for all things are possible to him who believes".  Life is not the same when you accept the latter of the two realities.  In fact life will never be the same.  What is exciting for most becomes worthless, useless and plain.  You turn your eyes toward heaven, your heart yearns for your Creator, and the deepest part of you longs to know 'who am I according to God's design?  What am I capable of?'
                       I went sky-diving last September and I was thoroughly unimpressed.  I questioned myself...how come I had no adrenaline rush, no mind-bending sensation or fear?  I thought this was one of the ultimate physical feats.  Yet just one second in the rich presence of God is far greater than any rush or cheap thrill you could ever buy.  The more I do, the more I push and test my physical limits, the more I am impressed and awed by the presence and the power of God.
                       I went on a mission trip to Mexico in my second year of college and on the last day a few students and one of our teachers prayed for a deaf orphan girl, who in that very moment received her hearing right before our eyes.  Her friend who was there with her told us that as long as she had known her she had always been deaf.  You don't witness something like that and just walk away unchanged.  You ask yourself, how can I walk away from that knowing that kind of power exists and lead an average life??  When you experience those realities you are forever changed.  You may be thinking well I've never seen a miracle like that happen, or anything supernatural occur.  Well, my advice would be that if you seek Him you will find Him.  The answers are out there.  The Bible contains story after story of healing and miracles.  We still live on the same Earth under the same sun as in biblical times.  So what has changed?  Not God.  He still sits upon the throne, He is still the same yesterday, today and forever!
                   Imagine that you've had one taste of the most delicious piece of food your taste buds have ever experienced...do you not desire more?  When you see miracles and healings or experience the tangible presence of a not dead but living God these are just tiny tastes of of who God really is and what He can really do!  The Bible says, taste and see that I am good!  In other words try Him out, just get a taste of what you're missing or have never experienced and see what you think.  I have tasted and I have seen and my hunger will never be satisfied nor my thirst ever be quenched!  We can't even imagine what the fulness of his presence is like, but I assure you that even after just one taste or one glimpse you will always be hungry for more.  Nothing else can fill that void except for the God who created that void in you.  I urge you to talk to God and ask Him to reveal a new dimension of His presence to you.  Never stop asking, never stop seeking for more.  The truth is I wake up every morning with this quiet longing in my heart, and I decide what I will begin my day with.  Will I ignore this feeling until I can't feel it anymore?  Or will I feed this desire to know the God who created me and allow this longing inside me to get bigger, stronger, and deeper until it consumes me?

I AM the hidden voice

November 30, 2010

The Hidden Voice

I am the hidden voice

I am defiance: the wrong choice

I am the lesson learned

I am the laughing stock of common society 

I am the same person I was yesterday and years before

I just decided to let all the extras fall away

and remember who I truly am at the core

I am the hidden voice

I am your heart: speaking the right choice

I am an ocean of cultures 

brewing in the worlds pot

filled to the top 

with diversity

I too, have questioned my reality

Looked in the erie eyes of adversity

lured away, deceived, heart-shattered, yet redeemed. 

Our world is a funny place,

just when you think it’s gotten better,

it gets worse, you see..

I am the hidden voice

of mankind

if you just sit down and listen, 

ask a question

I am always speaking

what is right?

what is wrong?

There are answers to these questions,

if you listen

I am the voice of your conscience 

seared, hot, burned: 

can’t remember the last time you made your own decisions 

I am the voice of science

tracking the earth with math, equations, statistics and long division

I am the voice of religion 

Many voices lacking wisdom

Many brains washed and hung to dry

where they will now spend most their lives:

not wet, not dry

just damp, 

blowing in the breeze

fading in the sun

losing all trace of color

I am the voice of your mother

I know what is best for you 

I will tell you right from wrong,

good from bad

moral from perverse 

Problem is, what if she stopped to listen?

I am the voice of confusion

I scream loud

if you choose not to listen

I am all around you everyday

scattered through media

printed, written, reported, illustrated

in magazines, papers, articles, columns

displayed on every billboard, tactfully arrayed in every advertisement, 

slapped on the sides of cabs and buses speeding by,

flashing before your eyes in commercials, infomercials

wasting your time,

enticing your lusty desires

awakening that which is contrary to who you are

continually building this illusion of what you now think you want;

indoctrinating you with popular opinion;

speaking to you while you eat, sleep, dream, take a leak

I too, am always speaking!

the difference is:

you must choose not to listen!

I am the hidden voice

softly speaking, often whispering

aching, reaching 

will you listen?