I Am a tree.

    Straight from my thoughts to pen and paper.  Here is a raw, unedited glimpse into the thought process of me: I don't write as much anymore, but I find that I'm living life a lot more. God, I've been so thankful for your presence lately.  I see it in such simplicity.  I am at peace and confident in knowing you are working in me. Sometimes we have to be placed somewhere completely foreign for things to change in our lives.  Many times a perspective change is all it takes to shift our lives.  Your future can change with just one thought.  I know that I am getting stronger, wiser, braver everyday.  Lord, I question if all this confidence and strength you're building in me is because I am nearing a tough season.  In some ways I think it's because I can be a pillar to my family in sad, lonely and changing times.  We all can be that to someone.  I feel that I can be strong for them and I pray that when I am weak and down they have the confidence and the strength built in them to bring me up.  We are a family, like a growing tree, reaching up towards the sky!  We are growing strong.
     I had an idea for a poem, to encourage both my mother, my sister and I.  It's about all of the doubts that we face like: "it's not going to work out, we're not going to make it, or we just don't have the money or the means to attain that." But not in this family--something always works out just in the nick of time or at the right moment.  For us things seem to cost less when we need them and work out when we're desperate.  We have experienced tiny miracles that have blessed us each and everyday.  My mom may be the only one who really gets this: we know how glorious it feels when the milk runs out, it's always on sale--in those fortuitous moments we praise the Lord.  We can never stop dreaming because All things truly are possible.  ALL things!
     As I was running today I had this thought, "it's a shame I only began living just now".  At times anxiety, pain--worry is deep in you, it can be a pit that won't leave, resting deep inside of you.  The reason why it's there may be very legitimate, but NOW, right now, this breath of oxygen that I am breathing in to fuel my brain, my blood, my lungs.  This nowness will never again be.  Take in what's around you, grab the opportunity that's here and now, embrace those standing right here in front of you in the flesh; and don't be afraid to miss and to mourn knowing that you should only allow it but a moment to rest upon your heart.  For when you miss there, you miss here, and when you miss them, or her or him, you miss me and I miss you and we miss the ones right in front of us as well as the place we are living in right now.
     Godly excitement rests in me...you know the kind that doesn't leave because something bad or unexpected happens.  It's the kind that is so expectant, so excited, so gripping, so sitting at the edge of my seat, so exploding with overwhelming joy, yet so invisible to the oblivious.  I am excited about the 'possible' in impossible, the unknown that always tags along with the known and the consistent--I don't know whether it's constant change or constant steadiness I love more, my emotions always lie.  I'm excited about this step, and this step and this step and all these building blocks.  I smile just watering dirt day in and day out watering this dirt because I know that one day up out of the dirt will burst a sprout.  It doesn't matter if it sprouts tonight or tomorrow or next month, my excitement is the same on day one as it is on day three hundred and sixty-five because the product is known and the process is known.  Without the process we will not produce jack.  Game day is not more important than training days.  In fact its outcome is of less value than all of the days and hours and dedicated, undefeated devotion that you put in to prepare yourself for this day.  They call it 'Game day' for a reason, because it's just a game: a culmination of all your hard efforts. But the training and training, the living and living today, right now, tomorrow--this is what matters.
     I looked up at a huge banyan tree the other day and thought, "dang, that didn't happen in a day."  And neither will my tree, or your tree, or our tree.  We are family and we are growing tall.  When you are not strong I pray I will be that strength and when I am weak I pray you will empower me to shake off those old dying leaves and not be afraid to be barren, totally stripped naked, exposed through the winter with the seed of hope that when spring comes I will be adorned with blossoms and beauty.  The birds will perch on my branches and the bees will befriend my flowers.  We will all grow and mature and lift one another up when we've had a hard fall--for we've had many...many, many hopes and dreams traded for poverty or struggles.  Many hopes turned bitter and dreams we let slip through our fingers.  Our hearts were perpetually sick for many years, but may I remind you that when desire comes it is a tree of life!  We are a family and we are growing strong and tall.  Though apart we can see above the whole world, above the foliage, the jungles, the forests, above it all and the wind will carry our whispers of love from leave to leave.  We are never apart.
     For now I and my brother are palms on an island and our mother she has been a willow.  He and I can withstand a hurricane and she has weeped over us all, providing shade, and beauty and protection.  Together we are a banyan, an oak, an iron.  Together we are them all...and what are trees known best for?  Standing.  Together we will stand tall, together we can withstand anything.  Inside of you and I grows a tree of life.  Grown from a seed we once rolled between our two fingers and pondered.  We will never forget our tiny beginnings.  As trees we will never be afraid to leave, to forget, to grow, to change, to breathe out oxygenating the world.    
 

"The Perfection of Beauty"

I AM Passionately Loved

What makes....Not only makes but drives, not just drives but entices someone to stay pure in todays world?  Is it a religious standard?  A strict discipline?  Some sort of holy karma?  Is it merely tradition passed down? Rules...regulations...what is it that would make someone desire God over worldly pleasure?  And I don't mean god, the one you pray to when you're scared, or feeling guilty, or visit once a year on Easter or the one before 'damn it', or after 'oh my'.  He's not some illusive spirit, or a silent sky, or ink printed in a Bible.  I'm talking about the God who is real and alive, and not just around you but who lives within you.  I am talking about the God of the Bible, Jesus.  The man who loves you, yes loves you with a real,powerful, passionate, and even tangible love.  It's this kind of love that is strong enough to lure someone away from sin.  Just the very thought of this kind of love is more tempting than any substitute this world could offer me.  I'd rather find out what happens at the end of this road than any other, which I'm positive all end up in the same place...death.  There is only one way that leads to life and thank God it's paved with the love of God!  If God could write you a letter, He might write something along these lines, but far more beautiful and articulate I'm sure....

My Beloved,

            My love is the most simple love, yet you make it so complex.  You often twist it and try to place yourself out of reach, like you don't deserve My love.  But it is not only available to you, it is actively chasing you down as we speak.  Accepting and coming to the understanding of  My love is all you need to be whole and complete.  Out of My love I made you, formed you with a little dust and a little rain.  I breathed My life inside of you.  It took love to create you.  I loved you before I had any idea of who you were.  Even before I knew you, I earnestly awaited your existence.  When I finally met you, I showered my love upon you with a promise, "I will never leave you nor forsake you.  I love you with an everlasting love, and I loved you before you first loved me."  I nicknamed you 'My Beloved', and from day one you became the apple of My Eye.  No matter what this world teaches you about Me, My love will dispel every lie.  My love will always reveal the truth.  My love is bigger than any mistake you will ever make and I will hide and cover you under My blanket of love and grace.  You can mock Me, laugh at Me, turn away and renounce Me , but I will never go back on my promises.  My love will chase you.  I will still love you with an everlasting love! If I could explain how long, how wide , how deep My love goes you would have already died and met Me in person, because My love will outlast eternity.  My love began before I invented time, and it will outlast this Earth and even a new heaven and a new Earth.  Count the stars; just hold one handful of sand in your palm and remember each sparkle, each grain is just one expression of My love.  I love every unique part of you.  I love your heart, your mind your soul and your spirit.  I love your complexities, simplicities, idiosyncrasies.  I love you so much that I gave, I made, I repaid.  Gave my son, made your heart, repaid your enemies.  I love you like no one on earth can love you.  In Me is so much love that I had to create humanity in order to love someone, for without you, who would I love?  Receive My love and I will wake you everyday, speak to you, comfort you, keep and protect you.  I have saved you, remade you, prayed for you all because of one element: My everlasting, all sustaining love!  I am in love with you, don't miss it.  All of my creation testifies of My love for you.  Open your eyes.  I am all around you confessing My love for you; writing my love upon your heart.  Did you not know that I am passionately in love with you?  You have My heart completely!

love 

Jesus

    

I AM virtuous

I thank God that we have the choice to be who we are.  There are many factors about your life that you had zero control over, but what happens from this day on can be your choice.

"I do not run aimlessly, I do not fight by beating the air.  I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize (1 Corinthians 9:26-27)"

What is my most prized possession?
You cannot hold it in your hand,
find it in a box,
see it hung upon the wall
or displayed behind glass upon a shelf,
what I hold most dear to me
is called integrity,
it's made up of physical,
spiritual, emotional and mental purity
it is not guaranteed to stay with me tomorrow
and it hasn't always been together in the past,
It's based upon my every choice, my every thought,
move and words I choose to voice
I do not let my society,
the culture, my friends or even my teachers
define what's acceptable for me,
I won't tell you how to live
or what to do
my choice is mine
as are your choices your own,
as for me, I draw the line
far before where others walk,
If it takes embarrassment or ridicule that's okay
I choose to look away
from all that my culture deems as 'okay'
I don't care if I'm too innocent or old-fashioned
for your taste or ease of comfort
you can be the scientist:
mad: experimenting with your heart
I will be the analyst
identifying how to guard every part
my life's test results challenge to prove that
it can be done,
you can hold on to your integrity,
this is not a losing battle!
everyday there's a fight waiting to be won
I choose the highest integrity
I choose to forget the pleasures under the sun.

I AM vibrant

So many pleasures
lost their luster,
the world turned
black and white
and lost its color.
Cultural divides
became more and more apparent.
the direction of my life
shifted at the flick of God's hand
my heart sailed,
driven by the direction
of heavens wind,
blown from the mouth of God.
His breath was my compass
it led me on.
On His exhale He
broke the dawn.
With His inhale
He hid the sun,
and gave me all the stars
to wish upon.
All of my treasures
lost their luster,
but the life you offer
is even more vibrant
than the whole Earth
illuminated by every last ray of Sun.

I AM in love

I wrote this poem yesterday on Easter Sunday in the early evening before sunset.  I wanted to finish off my day with a quick visit to the beach.  Yesterday was such a good reminder of the kind of love Jesus has bestowed upon us being that he died for all of humanity.  I was once again enthralled by the purity of His love as I thought about Jesus yesterday I remembered these verses: 


" Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord." Psalms 45:11 


"The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love:
therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jeremiah 31:3


"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,  nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39


The events and inspiration of the day all culminated to the words that follow; and being that this blog is geared towards encouraging young women and men in purity and integrity I thought I would post what I wrote.

I Am in Love

I can’t breathe

I can’t sleep 

I can’t even blink without thinking about You.

Could a love so deep exist?

In a form beyond human lips,

before I’ve ever been touched or kissed?

As I look across the ocean 

in a distance that never ends

dig my feet into the infinite grains of sand

Watch the birds glide across the sky

arrayed with billows of clouds 

all contrasted against the sound of

Your waves crashing against the shore.

Your love pounds in my heart

and I know that I know

this love does exist! 

Beyond human touch,

the greatest love this world thinks it knows 

between a man and his woman

exists a greater force of love!

Could I be this lucky to have found it

before the world drowned it with lies

and illusions of a tainted, half-baked

kind of love?

Many think I am just young and naive

creating my own vision that innocence breeds.

When asked the question,

have you ever been in love? 

I always say, no...I don’t believe I have.

but all that time I was wrong

I’ve been in love since before the age of seven,

fell in love with my Savior, 

and ever since then 

it’s grown deeper and stronger 

within my heart 

the way I see things,

the way I see people, 

the way I see creation..

how could I not know love?

The way I feel, the way I think, 

the way I look for you with eternity in my eyes

the way I long to honor and respect 

this man named Jesus.

I know that this is real,

and I know that this is love!

right now I’ll let your sunset on my heart

and when I wake 

please kiss me with your rays

as I continue to live out my days

so totally, completely, recklessly

and almost on the verge of irresponsibly,  

in love with you, 

my Savior, my Love. 

I AM made alive

             I have been made alive!....wait a minute does that mean that I was born dead?  "Even when we were dead in our transgressions, [He] made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved. (Ephesians  2:5)"
                      Why shall I educate myself to know all the current and past issues of our country?  Teach me to know why we are arguing and spending and dying for a freedom I thought was already mine.  Why should I learn the names of politicians and the ebbs and flows of economic conditions?  Should I go to school to study the issues and the wars and the failures of the past hoping to use that as my foundation for changing the world?  Why?
                If I spend half my life studying the problem, when will I learn of the solution?  I see the wisdom in understanding our history in order to not repeat the same downfalls, but we are developing a nation who has so carefully deconstructed and analyzed every problem.  We know the ins and the outs of all our failures.  We know what systems don't work and why.  We have P.H.D's in all the world's issues...but what about the inspiration that comes from the solution?
                 It's hard to find that drive, that spark, that vision of an actual solution that could change our lives.  Mostly because we've glorified our problems so much that we can't grasp an actual solution.  In my heart I know that it begins with inspiration and encouragement and the passion to trust that all things are possible to him who actually does believe.  If I could give you one piece of wisdom it would be to believe again in Him who has risen.  Though today would mark the day where all hope was lost.  I mean historically yesterday the Savior died and was still dead the second day waiting in the grave.  What had the disciples to hope for?  All that they put their hope in was completely gone, totally dead!!  Could this describe the state of our hearts in a nation turned upside down by it's current condition?   How long will we let our hearts remain dead, asleep, unshaken, and numb to a solution?  That second day was and is a reality in history and in the present day.  Jesus died and he remained dead.  So how are you going to live today?  Will you let your hope remain dead, your hearts frozen cold,  and your life falling further    
into the grave you've prepared for yourself?  Will you pass on beyond Easter celebrations of eating chocolate filled eggs,  chasing a distraction as the fictional Easter bunny (whom we teach our children is more real than Jesus himself)  hops by filling our baskets with fleeting treasures; letting marshmallow peeps stain your teeth yellow and pink? Will you think of what really happened on Easter and let it resurrect your own heart and dreams seeing that the solution never died!  It was just tested and tried, beaten and bruised, mocked and crucified!  You see the solution can never die, even in the grave Jesus was and is the only one who can save.  Rearranging the problems will never change the answer.  The solution remains the same, regardless of how much you test it, recheck it, edit it and reevaluate or even disengage your brain hoping to come upon another answer.  Four will always be the answer to the equation of two plus two as Jesus will always be the answer to a broken and dying humanity.  There's only one sure way to to awaken your heart, your hopes, our nation, our world.  I hope Easter reminds you of the solution we've neglected to recognize.  Jesus rose again and so will those who surrender and let Him in.  I thank God that I am made alive through Him.  

I AM hungry

                         I woke up not just this morning but the past weeks knowing this is not the fulness of life that was designed for me.  I found out recently that my brain is not even fully developed for deductive and rational reasoning until the age of 24...I have about one month to go haha.  In the years from my late teens to early twenties I have learned that I am not invincible, yet my spirit is unbreakable and can not be defeated.  I saw the fragility of my own body, the weakness of my soul, and the pull of my emotions.  Yet I saw something greater, the strength and the life of God that is in me.  Few will ever realize that an eternal being lives inside this flesh and bones that crumble and bleed, that break and age to the mirror's eye.  To the eyes that have been opened, even with just one glimpse of an eternal reality there will always be a struggle between the realm of " I am limited by my surroundings", and " I can do anything, for all things are possible to him who believes".  Life is not the same when you accept the latter of the two realities.  In fact life will never be the same.  What is exciting for most becomes worthless, useless and plain.  You turn your eyes toward heaven, your heart yearns for your Creator, and the deepest part of you longs to know 'who am I according to God's design?  What am I capable of?'
                       I went sky-diving last September and I was thoroughly unimpressed.  I questioned myself...how come I had no adrenaline rush, no mind-bending sensation or fear?  I thought this was one of the ultimate physical feats.  Yet just one second in the rich presence of God is far greater than any rush or cheap thrill you could ever buy.  The more I do, the more I push and test my physical limits, the more I am impressed and awed by the presence and the power of God.
                       I went on a mission trip to Mexico in my second year of college and on the last day a few students and one of our teachers prayed for a deaf orphan girl, who in that very moment received her hearing right before our eyes.  Her friend who was there with her told us that as long as she had known her she had always been deaf.  You don't witness something like that and just walk away unchanged.  You ask yourself, how can I walk away from that knowing that kind of power exists and lead an average life??  When you experience those realities you are forever changed.  You may be thinking well I've never seen a miracle like that happen, or anything supernatural occur.  Well, my advice would be that if you seek Him you will find Him.  The answers are out there.  The Bible contains story after story of healing and miracles.  We still live on the same Earth under the same sun as in biblical times.  So what has changed?  Not God.  He still sits upon the throne, He is still the same yesterday, today and forever!
                   Imagine that you've had one taste of the most delicious piece of food your taste buds have ever experienced...do you not desire more?  When you see miracles and healings or experience the tangible presence of a not dead but living God these are just tiny tastes of of who God really is and what He can really do!  The Bible says, taste and see that I am good!  In other words try Him out, just get a taste of what you're missing or have never experienced and see what you think.  I have tasted and I have seen and my hunger will never be satisfied nor my thirst ever be quenched!  We can't even imagine what the fulness of his presence is like, but I assure you that even after just one taste or one glimpse you will always be hungry for more.  Nothing else can fill that void except for the God who created that void in you.  I urge you to talk to God and ask Him to reveal a new dimension of His presence to you.  Never stop asking, never stop seeking for more.  The truth is I wake up every morning with this quiet longing in my heart, and I decide what I will begin my day with.  Will I ignore this feeling until I can't feel it anymore?  Or will I feed this desire to know the God who created me and allow this longing inside me to get bigger, stronger, and deeper until it consumes me?

I AM the hidden voice

November 30, 2010

The Hidden Voice

I am the hidden voice

I am defiance: the wrong choice

I am the lesson learned

I am the laughing stock of common society 

I am the same person I was yesterday and years before

I just decided to let all the extras fall away

and remember who I truly am at the core

I am the hidden voice

I am your heart: speaking the right choice

I am an ocean of cultures 

brewing in the worlds pot

filled to the top 

with diversity

I too, have questioned my reality

Looked in the erie eyes of adversity

lured away, deceived, heart-shattered, yet redeemed. 

Our world is a funny place,

just when you think it’s gotten better,

it gets worse, you see..

I am the hidden voice

of mankind

if you just sit down and listen, 

ask a question

I am always speaking

what is right?

what is wrong?

There are answers to these questions,

if you listen

I am the voice of your conscience 

seared, hot, burned: 

can’t remember the last time you made your own decisions 

I am the voice of science

tracking the earth with math, equations, statistics and long division

I am the voice of religion 

Many voices lacking wisdom

Many brains washed and hung to dry

where they will now spend most their lives:

not wet, not dry

just damp, 

blowing in the breeze

fading in the sun

losing all trace of color

I am the voice of your mother

I know what is best for you 

I will tell you right from wrong,

good from bad

moral from perverse 

Problem is, what if she stopped to listen?

I am the voice of confusion

I scream loud

if you choose not to listen

I am all around you everyday

scattered through media

printed, written, reported, illustrated

in magazines, papers, articles, columns

displayed on every billboard, tactfully arrayed in every advertisement, 

slapped on the sides of cabs and buses speeding by,

flashing before your eyes in commercials, infomercials

wasting your time,

enticing your lusty desires

awakening that which is contrary to who you are

continually building this illusion of what you now think you want;

indoctrinating you with popular opinion;

speaking to you while you eat, sleep, dream, take a leak

I too, am always speaking!

the difference is:

you must choose not to listen!

I am the hidden voice

softly speaking, often whispering

aching, reaching 

will you listen? 

I AM a modern day miracle

I’m not going to lie.  I was scared to death.  I had no idea what would happen.  Would everything fall through or miraculously fall into place?  Would I stay in this place and never find out what would happen?  I wouldn’t have to risk anything except my own sense of adventure that I would stifle if I never step beyond my known reality.  Would I believe an ancient book or would I believe all the doubting hearts that surround me with endless debates?  What have I to lose anyway?  Matthew 10:39 says, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”  

This year I am intentionally embarking deeper into the heart of God to find that life that I was finally able to lose in trade for something greater.  Many people I know have never fully heard my testimony, and for good reason; I couldn’t even realize that I had one for such a long time.  It’s a beautiful story that is still being written and even I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens in the months and years that are to come.   In writing today’s blog I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to share because I’m not one to waste words on mindless babbling but I believe that each and every word carries power through both the spoken and written word.  As I began to write I am inspired to share some of the tale of my life because I am a modern day miracle.  I was placed on this Earth to capture and display a side of God that only I can convey, just like your life conveys a unique side of God that can only be shared through your life alone.  I see God differently than you do.  You see God differently than I do.  We are unique in our design and makeup therefore we see different attributes and characteristics of the same awesome God!  

I am no ‘prodigal son’ returning home from a far away place where I ran from God and squandered everything I had to later return to the loving arms of a grateful and forgiving Father.  I was not found by the side of a well ashamed and over-ridden by guilt over my lascivious lifestyle.  I neither suffered cancer or any major health issue where I was miraculously healed by God.  I was a young girl whose parents just discovered God for themselves and they told me there is a God who loves you and He is here whenever you’re scared or need help...and I believed them and never stopped believing.  

I used to be scared a lot when I was a little girl and my parents got me in the habit of praying every night before I went to bed.  So my prayers sounded a little like this, “Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for today.  Bless all my family, bless my mom and my dad and my sister and my two brothers and bless me too!  And I ask that you would fill this whole house with millions and millions of angels to protect us. Fill each room with millions and millions and millions of angels, especially my room!  I love you and please give me sweet dreams.  In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.”  I would always continue naming a higher number of angels because I was afraid and wanted to be protected really well.  It’s funny my nightly prayers still sound a little like they did when I was a girl.  Knowing God was simple and honest and pure.  It wasn’t complicated like many of the adults I knew who were up and down and all around with their walk with Christ.  I may not have been super deep or theological in my relationship with Jesus, but I did know Him and I knew that He knew me.  

My prayers became more personal as I grew older, I would often greet God with, “Hey, it’s me again” or “Hi Dad, did you miss me?” or even, “What’s up?  How was your day?”  I talked to Him like He was right there as if He would actually respond back to my silly question of how was your day?  I was playful and honest with God just like a child is naturally.  If you can remember what you were like as a kid, that is the innocence and purity of heart God desires in His relationship with you.  It doesn’t have to be fancy-schmancy or elaborate.  It’s just like your friendship with your best friend...it’s simple, loads of fun and forgiving.  Getting to know God is not hard.  If a five year old can begin to understand and know the heart of God surely you can, whoever you are or whatever age you’re at can fathom a God that loves you. To begin walking with God is as easy as waking up  in the morning...okay maybe that’s not that easy for some haha but you get the idea.  It’s like meeting a new person when you’re out at coffee.  You exchange phone numbers and a few days later one of you calls the other and decides to hang out and wah-lah a relationship begins.  It’s surface level at the beginning but it progresses as you get to know each other more.  It grows in depth as you talk more and more and discover more about each other as you spend more time with each other.  Before you know it you really love and care for this person who was just a stranger you ran into at a coffee shop one day.  

I was lucky enough to be introduced to Jesus at a very young age where it made sense to me.  Of course it’s been a long road and I’ve questioned many things, nothing changes the fact that I choose to enter into a relationship with God one day at a time.  I invite you to get to know God on a deeper level today.  To pray is simply talk one to another.  Remember when you were a kid and life was simple and love was simple.  Did you once have what you thought was a flourishing relationship with God but now you’re cold and indifferent or maybe doubtful of His promises?  God never changed, you did...“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

I AM seeing myself in a whole new light

January 28, 2011 Journal Entry:  Written in Flight to the Mainland 

          Eight months ago I flew across America and over the Pacific until I landed on a rock smack dab in the middle of the ocean which is apparently the most isolated chain of islands in the world, where I met a family I had never seen face to face in my life.  I have lived and worked for them for the past eight months and they turned out to be really nice, inviting and sweet people.  There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord has given me great favor wherever I go and directed my every step.  A lot has changed, I feel like I’ve grown up a lot more and seen/done so many new things.  I don’t worry like I used to.  I was in a constant state of anxiety for such a long period of time especially when I first moved.  I was always wondering am I doing the right thing?  What’s right, what’s wrong?  I can say that I am at peace now :)  I rely more on the Holy Spirit for wisdom, comfort and direction.  I believe I am much wiser than in previous years.  I’ve learned how to be more honest with myself, and identify what I like and what I don’t like about me.  The more honest you are with yourself, the more honest you can be with others.  Likewise, the more you trust God for your own personal needs the easier it is to help others find that trust for God within themselves. 

           Living by example is truly the only way to live.  I will teach no one anything if I haven’t first done it myself.  I don’t want to preach a message that I don’t live out and exemplify in my own life.  I don’t want to live in hypocrisy by saying one thing and doing another.  What we say and what we do must coincide with each other; that creates balance and a healthy flow of the Spirit.  When we are true to ourselves I believe it is easier to convey a real life impacting message to those around us.  Nobody wants to learn from someone who isn’t who they say they are.  I want to be like glass.  I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there.  I am seeing more and more why God needs ample time to prepare each one of us for our callings.  He has to carefully develop us, intricately teach us, and intimately get to know us... or rather we need to respond to His intimate invitation to get to know Him further.  Everyday is a journey and every moment we are absorbing something from our surroundings.  We are benefiting from what’s going on or we are conforming in the wrong ways to our influences and surroundings.  Always be objective!  Weigh the consequences.  Realize the negative and positive of every action.  Reevaluate your own actions and choices.  Constantly remain in an attitude of learning and total surrender.  

           The older I get the more humble I naturally become.  I did not create the physical world around me.  I didn't place the minds of all my friends and family inside their heads.  I do not direct the hearts of kings...but God does.  I am humbled because I am one, just one of His many beautiful creations, but I realize there are many of us and we were never created for selfishness.  I am seeing myself in a new light and it’s changing everything.  Take the time to look at your own situation.  The way you live often reflects your feelings about yourself.  Whether you realize it or not you are probably settling for less than what God has for you in some area of your life.  How do you let others treat you?  Do people run over you all the time, or do you stand up for yourself when you’re abused or mistreated?  The way you handle these kind of situations speaks of how much you think you’re worth.  Value the person that God created you to be.  Be real and honest with yourself and question your motives and actions.  Am I letting the world take advantage of me?  Am I settling for less than what God specifically designed me to be?  Am I seeing myself in the wrong light?  

              Ask the Queen of England what she thinks her value is?  Guaranteed she believes she should receive royal treatment and nothing less.  We would consider that to be suiting treatment for a  woman of her stature.  Now ask a homeless man what he thinks his value is.  He might stand in the shadows with his head hung low, thinking “I just need one meal to get me through till tomorrow.  I don’t deserve anything after the kind of lifestyle I’ve lived.”  Is that the kind of treatment he really deserves?   Are you okay letting him think that way?  

             Proverbs says the rich man and the poor man have one thing in common and that is that both have the same Maker.  If both are designed by the Master, the Lord  the King of the Universe then both are entitled to royalty.  Both are princes and princesses.  Both are sons and daughters of Father God.  Both have inherited the same inheritance as Jesus.  The difference is they don’t see themselves in the same light.  As a man thinks in his heart so is he.  What do you believe you are entitled to?  What have you let pass you by because you didn’t think you were worthy enough?  What the Bible promises belongs to every man and woman on the face of the Earth.  The rich man, the poor man, the person whose fallen and the man who is perfect in his own eyes.  It’s time to be honest with ourselves and see ourselves in a whole new light, because guarantee once you do, it will rock your world!

            When you see yourself in a new light everything changes. Everything that is in relation to you notices the change, and you are one step closer to seeing yourself the way God sees you... as shining, immaculate, beautiful, and the love of His life.  Imagine if you came to the full realization of what God thinks about you?  You’d never settle for less ever again!  What you tolerate in you life you invite to stay.  Shine the light of God’s Word on your life and let it reveal the good and the bad and drive you to become a light and an example that shines for Him.  Let Him reveal who you really are because honestly He's the only one who truly knows who you are.  I’m seeing myself in a whole new light and it’s shattering all the wrong things I used to think about myself.  It’s revealing me as the person that God made me to be.  

           It’s not snobby to think you deserve the best, and you’re not being humble by thinking you deserve nothing but the worst.  You are a divine and eternal being crafted by God!  Tell yourself ‘I am crafted by the hands of God’ until you actually believe it, and then ask yourself this:  As a creation of the Most High God, what do I really think I deserve?  The possibilities are endless...  It’s not by chance that great people emerge or great things happen but it comes to be by an everyday choice after choice after choice.  View yourself and every situation in the light of what God sees and your whole perspective will change.  Get ready to open your eyes to a whole new world.  Capture yourself in the best light, as if taking a mental snapshot of who God made you to be, and then remember that image and never forget how good you look in God’s light.  “Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. (Psalms 4:6).”

I AM appalled!

Teaching Sex Education to Kindergarten Students

How Young is too young? If you're too young to do it then you're too young to know elicit details about it. This is an old video clip, I guess I missed when it was in the news, but seriously? Sex education starting in Kindergarten? As far as I know some kindergartners still forget what comes after L,M,N, O ?, or what color matches with what or even how to contain their bladders during nap time! And you want to teach them all the details of their 'privates' and tell fifth graders about different types of sex!? Hello...this is your wake up call! If you don't teach your children about having good morals and the value of purity one day we could actually see a sex education like this implemented in our public schools. T.V has already gotten ahold of this younger generation with teenage melodramas about teens struggling with sex and complicated relationships. Our youth are getting older and older at a younger age. Someone will educate your child if you don't, and that education may set them up for a lascivious lifestyle in the future. Are we so much of a sex-driven society that we are making this much of an effort to educate children about the ins-and out of sex. It's bad enough that every other magazine in the rack reads something like " 8 new sex tricks to try", "what your boyfriend secretly desires in bed" or "how to achieve the most intense orgasm" !! Gag me! I don't want to spend my leisurely time reading about your ideas on lust, nor do I want young children hearing about how to improve their sex-life. The earlier we teach them it's okay and it's normal and everyone does it then guess what, the earlier they are going to feel comfortable with it, seek out, and experiment with it. What about an education in the importance of hard-work, commitment, self-control, or how about self-respect and valuing your body as a temple not a instrument of yours or someone else's pleasure. Kids absorb everything you tell them, everything they see, everything they hear. What are we broadcasting to the children growing up in America today? What about your own lifestyle? If an eight year old kid were to follow you 24/7 for an entire week would you be okay letting them watch everything you do and hear everything you say? Don't miss your opportunity to stand up for what is pure, what is just, what is morally right while you still have the freedom to do so. Because who knows one day a law might be passed which will arrest anyone opposing such a education system. Get involved in the youth and children and even toddlers lives around you because there is always someone trying to educate them and to often the God of this world is much more loud clear than the voice of purity and holiness. If a baby can hear and see and smell and feel they are learning something from your actions. You are never too young to be taught about the love of God!

I AM renewing my mind

                            I am skillfully and wonderfully made.  Crafted with precision by the hands of God.  Designed intricately from the inside out.  I am an immaculate conception, conceived because of love.  My body is not merely flesh and blood but a temple which hosts the living God who dwells on the inside of me.  I am unique in design.  If all the zillions and zillions of stars in the sky were people you would never find one like me.  My Creator sits and counts the grains of sand and as he rolls each one between his fingers He ponders upon me.  He not only calls me His creation for I am more than the plants and animals, but I am His daughter.  He looks down from the heavens and watches me, protects me, loves me.  He gave me fingers to write, feet to dance, a voice to sing, eyes to see, hands to build, ears to hear, a heart to love and a body to live and move upon this earth fulfilling a purpose!  Have you forgotten who you are?  This is the truth about you!  Your circumstances, life experiences, failures or mistakes don't create you.  You existed long before those things came to be.  You were an act of love. God desired to create you!
                          This month I am taking the time to read through the book of Proverbs.  No matter how many times you read it you will always learn something new.   This is arguably the best book ever written on purity.  If you feel like you want to be inspired by purity then begin to read the book of Proverbs.  It teaches discretion, wisdom, prudence, resourcefulness and all things practical.  In order to renew your mind from the worlds mindset you need to wash it with something clean, just like you would wash your dirty clothes.  If you get a stain on your clothing its not going to come out magically.  You need soap and possibly a heavy duty stain-remover like shout to aid in removing the stain.  Your mind is the same; the thinking of the world and its ideas stain your mind.  You have to work in order to remove those stains.  The Word of God acts as the soap to wash your mind clean and replace former ideas with something new.  As you meditate the Word it removes old thought patterns and you begin to hear the voice of God above the voice of the world.  It's a process that you have to continually work at.  I encourage you to read through Proverbs and let it renew your mind daily.  The world has conditioned the mind of society to believe casual sex is okay, immorality is acceptable, and virtually anything goes.  We need to actively recondition our minds and our thoughts on a daily basis.  WARNING:  this is not an easy lackadaisical task.  Just like you have to study and repeat drills in school in order to learn something you need to commit your mind and heart to adopting a new way of thinking.
                       Proverbs 2:1-5 says, " My son (daughter), if you receive my words and treasure my commands within you so that you incline your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding; Yes if  you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures then you will understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God."  You see it takes seeking, and trying to understand.  You have to search it out, look for it, cry out for it.  It takes a decision from you.  I think everyone at some point needs to ask themselves, who am I right not?  First, what has made me who I am?  Who has taught me?  What did I listen to that I allowed to shape my mind, form my opinions and fuel my thoughts?  Was my source, my upbringing, my teachers right or wrong on the subject of purity and morality.  Challenge your belief system today, and dare to leave behind your old ways of thinking and venture out on a journey of learning what God thinks about who you are.  Let Him lead you into 2011 with a whole new outlook on life and the world around you.  I challenge you to rethink everything!  Forget who you've been, and let God bring out your true design and unveil your beauty as someone who is pure and undefiled by the world.  Renewing my mind today will change who I am and what I do tomorrow.  Change begins with one single thought...and I think I'll go read another chapter in Proverbs.